Deb’s Cine-Meh House: Halloween 2
The residents of Haddonfield, Ill., were so influenced by energy conservation ads of the 1970s, that even in the face of death they steadfastly refuse to turn on any light switches in Halloween 2 (1981). ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: Altered States
Everything happens in Altered States (1980)–literally. William Hurt does some sweet peyote, take a sense-deprived snooze, and hits all the major moments from divine spark of life to magilla gorilla in the zoo and beyond, all while wearing the latest in Rick Baker transformation makeup. ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: The Burbs
When I think of Joe Dante’s The Burbs (1989), I think: “agreeable,” “workman-like,” “adequate,” and “meh.” Maybe there was a tone problem. Rick Ducommun, who has the disagreeable task of playing the nosy neighbor, drives the plot by nattering in a high-pitched whine that works on the nerves like a dentist’s drill. Tom Hanks, who’s no slouch, ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: ZAPPED!
Teen telekinesis sex romp Zapped! (1982) prompted Vincent Canby of the New York Times to use the word “retarded” in his review. What you have here is a standard science-experiment-gone-awry plot, which leads to lifted skirts, spilled milkshakes, and befuddled fuddy-duddies. B-movie mainstay Eddie Deezen makes an appearance, but if that’s not enough to pique your interest, ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: Electric Dreams
According to the filmmakers, Electric Dreams (1984) is what happens when you get a computer drunk on champagne—that is to say, it stalks your hot new girlfriend and tries to kill you. One whiskey sour and my computer took on more of a Henry Chinaski persona, so I guess it all depends on your machine’s alcohol tolerance ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: Plain Clothes
Until I looked at the cast on IMDB, I didn’t remember Plain Clothes (1988) having anyone of note in it, but right there among the supporting players are ABE VIGODA! SEYMOUR CASSEL! HARRY SHEARER! and GEORGE WENDT! and more! I don’t recall anyone of them in it so I have to trust that IMDB is ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: Dead Heat
In Dead Heat (1988), Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo fill the screen with their big, big faces while playing out the comic story of a zombie cop the way a high-school quartet noodles out a top-of-the-line second-rate jazz composition! This film came on the tail end of the 1980s zombie explosion (my, that sounds messy), ...continue reading
Holiday-ish Movies
Lists appeal to everyone, whether it’s the top five things you can use to jazz up your Ramen noodle soup (1. fried chicken, 2. more noodles, 3. hard-boiled eggs, 4. corncakes wrapped in American cheese, 5. peppermints) or the Best/Worst Sports Injuries of the Century (Theismann). In order to appeal to the growing list-conscious American ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: The Bounty
The Bounty (1984) is not the story of the moderately popular chocolate bar of the same name, but a laborious cruise into history with Mel Gibson and Anthony Hopkins as Mr. Christian and Capt. Bligh respectively. YES NO ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: The Manhattan Project
The Manhattan Project (1986) does not take place in Manhattan at all (unlike the super-secret government project of the same name), but there is a plutonium bomb built by a high-school student who, in real life, would probably end up riddled with cancerous tumors from radiation poisoning, but the movie goes in a different direction. ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: D.A.R.Y.L.
Filmmakers were too lazy to come up with a better name/acronym than D.A.R.Y.L. “Data-Analysing Robot Youth Lifeform” in 1985. But they did manage to come up with a promotional scam phone number that curious kids could call to find out what the acronym meant. Despite this chicanery, the film flopped. —D.E.B. “Dingus Eagle Bananahat” ...continue reading
Deb’s Cine-Meh House: Cat’s Eye
Cat’s Eye (1985) was the last film appearance of Troll #1 from Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (1974) before he retired to a dusty attic in Boca Raton, Florida. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBdshG0lWac ...continue reading